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Monday, October 19, 2009 at 6:48AM ;)
I apologize for my absence. The unseasonably cold weather and snow seems to have thrown me for a loop. This combined with a complete lack of inspiration in the commentary department has resulted in my week long avoidance of the blog. But, the cat and I have managed to pry ourselves loose from our camped out position around the heating vent and I have decided to get back to business; the cat has just found a new place to sleep.
The snow has melted, the temperatures rebounded and the trees have decked themselves out in their best fall foliage. I used to love the fall until we moved to the upper Midwest. The vibrant colors, the crunching leaves underfoot, and coziness of a warm turtleneck all give rise to feelings of fondness for the seasonal rituals that always accompany the season: college football games, hot apple cider, Martha Stewart inspired squash and gourd tablescapes. Yes, I did just use the word tablescape and yes, I am concerned too.
Living in a place resembling the arctic for half the year has left me disenchanted with autumn and all its splendor. Fall is the precursor to winter, a season I never enjoyed but have now grown to hate. It's too long and too intense around these parts. Fall is winter's errand boy and I am ready to kill the messenger already.
So, this past week with temperatures in the lower thirties and heavy wet snowflakes pissing down from the sky, I found myself not in the best of moods. Understanding there are some things in life I cannot change is one thing. Keeping it from affecting my sunny disposition is quite another.
This brings me to an encounter I had with someone working at my house earlier in the week who bit my head off for no apparent reason. Actually, he not only snapped at me but treated me with such contempt as to quite literally leave me speechless. I later found out that he had been having a difficult morning; unfortunately, I turned into his punching bag.
There was a contrite apology after the fact with what seemed little remorse. It was as if this kind of behavior was just par for the course, unloading on anyone within dumping distance the norm. Having my own reasons for ill temperance, I could understand the urge to let loose on any unassuming bystander within earshot. Ripping someone a new one, so to speak, has a certain cathartic appeal.
But, I routinely keep such thoughts and actions to myself. No matter how annoying I find someone or how annoyed in general I might be, disgorging my emotional detritus for the world to see feels somehow unseemly, not to mention downright rude. When the situation, as in the case above, in no way warrants the reaction I am left wondering where the case for self control went.
The beauty queens hyper ventilating upon receiving their crowns, television talent show contestants blubbering with every nasty retort or gushing accolade by the judges, the myriad of A through D list actors and actresses twittering whatever venomous thoughts cross their minds for the world to see: giving over to one's emotion seems to have become a national pastime. I realize I discussed this theme recently, Kanye West and Serena Williams acting like spoiled children. In that post, I touched on the death of civility. A new question comes to mind.
When does legitimate emoting give way to self indulgence?
Crying for the sake of crying, yelling for the sake of yelling, at some point this becomes more about attention seeking behavior than anything else.
Let me know how you feel. I will be out enjoying the above freezing temperatures and planning my autumn tablescape while you think about it.
autumn, emotional outburst, fall, rude, self control, winter in Losing It 
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Reader Comments (14)
tablescapes aside, the important question is where is the cat sleeping now!?
As for over emoting, the world is full of it. I still blame twitter for the social ineptitude of the masses - if you can tweet with no self control, why not also just blurt out things in real life?
I think this is a kind of regression, since this is the typical behaviour of a toddler or young child. The world revolves around them, and every emotion that they feel is immediately broadcast. But as they grow up, they should learn self censoring. That doesn't mean becoming emotionally oppressed, but tearing someone a new one for something that is totally unrelated to them is inexcusable. And at best shouldn't have happened, and at worst should have prompted a very contrite apology that was actually MEANT.
Ewww, I can't stand it when people have a gush of self-indulgent emotion to strangers. Go gush to someone who knows you and cares. How jaded am I? That's what living in Los Angeles has done to me. Btw, tablescape is my new favorite word.
It's funny because so many of us bloggers have posted about the weather today.
Well, as far as emotionals outburst...this is something I have been known to do. I'm a full-blooded Italian, what can I tell ya. I cry when I cry, I laugh when I laugh, I yell when I yell. Of course, I don't always make for a pretty scene, but I'm emotional and it's something I've learn to accept in myself. I don't feel I do it as an attention seeker, it's just the way I am. And I won't lash out to hurt someone just because I'm having a bad day, but if someone actually does or says something towards me, I definitely express what I feel to them.
Which is usually..."Che faccia brutta!"
Which in Italiian means..."What an ugly face!"
HA!
Great post, Jen!
Stay warm and cozy, my friend!
Probably I am somewhat like you; I would do my best to keep the thoughts and actions to myself. At time I would go for a run or for a movie.
Please feel free to head to Texas for a vist if you need some sun! Even though I was raised in the NE, I easily fell in love with the almost-snowless winters.
My husband and I both have bad tempers, and I know that we often regret things said in anger, or tantrums flung at the other for no reason. My husband's greatest strength is being able to forgive completely and quickly. I, on the ohter hand, hold a grudge - even after the apology. I need to let that go and then we both need to check our tempers at the door! :)
I take it you don't enjoy people lamenting over their lives in FB statuses every five minutes? Ah ha ha
Welcome back, Jen. I was actually away for a week too. LOL. So I'm doing a huge blog-a-thon this evening to catch up on all of the posts I missed...
I have to admit I find gushing reality show contestants highly amusing! Particularly when said contestants are utterly inconsolable and the host of the reality show doesn't know what to do.
Regarding your stranger's outburst,how rude!
Being over emotional on occasion can't be helped but civility is a must.
Thanks for the great post!
Smileyfreak :)x!
Oh hell no! I would have kick their butt out of my house, oh unless they were fixing my plumbing for that is another story.
:O)
So much to be said for self control and professionalism! Nothing like paying someone to do a job and getting a side of rudeness. Usually that is a true indicator of low self esteem. Sorry to hear that happened to someone so kind and down to earth as you. I would have fired him!
Okay. Bottom line is that the weather sucks. "Fall is winter's errand boy and I am ready to kill the messenger already." is THE BEST LINE I've heard to describe how I feel about the coming winter.
Sorry, Ron...it is what it is....however, I share your love of putting feelings out there...and I'm tired of da boys telling me to "reel it in a bit, Mom."
I also try to remember that sometimes ppl are using me as a punching bag for something that has nothing to do with me....but it's still not appropriate. If you're having marital probs, sorry....but don't take it out on ME. I'M not YOUR problem...why should you be MINE?
For me, it comes down to civility. I was taught to be polite...practice the social grace we call "manners" and then I may beat the crap out of a pillow in the privacy of my own home.
My mother taught me well. I think....
i think that line is crossed when the person has no intention of trying to fix the problem that caused such an outburst because that would take them away from being the center of attention
I always have a hard time with fall too, living in a place with such a long winter. I know the leaves are beautiful and all, but I would rather they stay green and stay put on the trees.
I'm glad you're back! I'm sorry that person was mean!