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Getting Your Hair Done Should Not Be A Therapy Session

The relationship with a hairdresser is a unique one. For some, he or she is part stylist, part confidante, part therapist. Is it the fact that this person is touching your scalp that somehow makes her seem like a person that you should divulge your deepest secrets? Or is it something the salon is pumping into the ventilation system that also makes you more susceptible to buying highly priced products with abandon?

It's an oddly intimate relationship especially considering most people only get their hair cut or styled every several weeks. My mother was the exception. When I was a child, she went once a week to get her hair "set." This involved something along the lines of her head covered in curlers and long chats with her "guy" who was married with children but always appeared as though he might pitch for the other team. Maybe it was just because it was the seventies but the skin tight jeans, overly coiffed hair and shirt open one too many buttons always gave me the impression that Mike had a life beyond the confines of our sleepy little town.

Unlike my mother, I make it to the salon every six weeks or so. If I'm particularly lazy I wait until my hair has become so mop like that even I'm embarrassed of it. It's never a pretty sight.

Yesterday, I saw my stylist, an extremely nice woman, who I find myself being far more chatty with than I normally would be given the fact that she's not a close friend. Actually, I can't even say we're friends. She cuts my hair. That's it.

See how easily the lines blur?

We began discussing this very issue. She told me about a client that makes an appointment once a month. Half the time, this client sits down and announces that she doesn't want her hair cut. She wants to talk.

"What do you do?" I asked.

"I let her talk," she said with exasperation.

"You're kidding? I hope you're charging her for this."

"No."

I preferred not to mince words, "That woman is nuts. You have to put an end to this."

She looked at me and sighed. I knew what she was going through. Easier said than done to create boundaries with people who have no concept of them. Most of us have gone through this at one time or another. The problem is that the nicer and more doormat-like you are, the harder it is to nip this kind of behavior in the bud.

I know of what I speak. I'm a recovering people pleaser and long time doormat. It takes a very skilled and talented individual to keep the odd balls at bay while not hurting their feelings. I still do a poor job at it. Obviously, my hair stylist needs some help too.

I gave her a hug when she finished with my hair. I felt her pain. And, I realized there's one more job to cross off my list of things I'd ever consider doing.

Who am I kidding? You don't need a cosmetology license to get sucked into listening to other people's problems.